Bitchin

Well, I've been out of school now since May and nothing magical has happened yet. I have had a little more time to get some things done around my house but other than that...just nothing. I'm still waiting for my fantasy job with big bucks to come into my life but so far...nope. Just working with the same old boorish people I always have and trying not to go postal each day. I swear...what is it about me that makes people think I need to be talked to like I'm a child? I'd like to think its because of my youthful appearance but then I'm so sick of it that I could kick someone upside the head about now. Well, this is just becoming a small tirade so I will stop it here. Wish me luck in my job hunt!

New Year's Eve...Yippee!

Well, it's been a while since I used this blog...for shame I know. But, I was recently reading the blog of a friend and it made me miss my little old lit blog. I guess it inspired me to get back to what I love to do...as my mom keep's telling me, I need to learn to relax and enjoy my down time. So, I am leaving my job for the evening, going to go pick up a fuzzy little wayward traveler and go home to my children and ring in the new year with them. Hope all my blog followers have a safe and happy New Year!

What I've been agonizing over all week...

Alright, contrary to what Hepworth thinks this is a video I made for my Media class. I just wanted to share it with anyone who was interested...it's not the finished product because that one is simply too large to upload here. I did not take any of the pictures myself but instead found the images in various places and put them to music and added facts to the mix. I don't think this version shows my facts either...what a bummer. It's supposed to be my version of a public service announcement on the problem of eating disorders. I wish it would have worked...but oh well.

Reading List

I finally got a chance to read some Toni Morrison...I think I'm a new fan. I really enjoyed her story about the girls who were both put in the orphanage, one because her mom was ill and the other because her mom liked to stay out all night and "dance." One black, the other white, they become the best of friends and then are both taken from the home and go on with their lives only meeting up at various times throughout their adult life. Each encounter is different than the last and it seems they are conflicted about the things they remember happening while they lived at the orphanage. The basic gist of the story is that they were both sad and scared little girls that let some of that fear enter their adult life and which kept them at odds at some points in their lives. I liked it, very true to life for people who have shared fears and hardships.

I will comment on the rest of my reading later but it is 4:30 in the morning and I have not been to bed yet...trying to get caught up...hopefully I can make it out of bed in a few hours to start again. Yikes!

Final Project

Ok, this project has be stumped! I want to do it on one of the Native American short stories I have read this semester...I think. However, I'm a little nervous about just asking a Native person if I can take their picture for my blog. I am still formulating something and will post it soon.

Updike Story

Coming soon...my version of Updike's story, "Trust Me". I have been thinking about writing it from the perspective of the teenage son...I'm not decided yet.

Podcast

Stay tuned I will be uploading my podcast soon! If I can figure it out!

Thoughts from class...

What is an American?

*inhabitant of North American, patriotic to this land
What is culture?
*customs that define who wer are, way of life
What is nature?
*trees, birds, wind, rain, sun, grass beneath our feet
What is wilderness?
*outdoors, woods, wild
What is wild? What defines it?
*untamed, undomesticated - ?
Can a body be wild?
*yes - free, uninhibited, non-conformity
Can a culture be wild?
*yes - untamed, unristricted, no rules, outlaw, no social structure
What do we mean by modern?
*breaking of old ways of doing things and using new ideas or techniques or equipment, etc.
What do we mean by the term regional?
*pertaining to the vicinity your currently residing in
Are these terms more than social constructions?
*maybe - there might be some freedom there
What distinguishes the border between pre-modern and modern?
*the period before the newest edition or latest advances
How do we distinguish from past and present?
*anything happening in this second is the present, everything prior to that is the past
How does the term modern influence what we read?
*I think it influences people to want to read newer and more modern texts because they want things they identify with and or it can also influence someone who does not like moving beyond the past to go back and revisit the older material
Is Langston Hughes a modernist?
*I would say that he is, only in that way that he was more advanced and forward thinking - he expounds on the unfairness of treating black Americans as outsiders in America, “I, too, am American.” He clearly writes his feelings to make you feel it and think it over. Poetry with a social consciousness that sums up the culture of the Harlem Renaissance and what it stood for, freedom to speak out against injustice - for his time this was modern thinking
What is literature?
*words that are written, spoken, sung
What defines that term?
*books, articles, oral stories, songs, magazines, poetry, etc.
Who should read it?
*literature if for everyone if they will only let it in
Who should write it?
*anyone who feels compelled to do so
What are its cultural purposes?
*to connect with others in the culture, to raise awareness of your culture, to educate
What are the borders of the US?
*geographically the borders of the US run on the East from Maine all the way down to the tip of Florida and then run along the top of Mexico and go West from California up to Washington and along the border to Canada. There are also a few little land masses unconnected from the largest portion, Alaska and Hawaii...can't remember if Porto Rico has their independance from US yet but that is a whole other story
Where are they?
*see questions above
Who is an Asian?
*people traditionally from the far East or from people of that descent
What does it mean to be All-American
*patriotic, upstanding, clean cut, law abiding, represents all the values that American's hold dear like patriotism, etc.
Where does this All-American live?
*typically you would think in the US somewhere but you can be All-American and live anywehere
What images do we associate with the typical or All-American town or place?
*like Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show, peaceful, orderly, everyone in the town are good citizens who look out for each other
What do we mean by the immigrant experience?
*not originally from the country of their own particular heritage and moved to a new location separate from it
What is cultural assimilation?
*taking on the prevalant culture and inserting yourself into it
What is cultural resistance?
*not allowing yourself to be immersed in the prevalane culture and maintaining your own personal cultural identity
What images of the depression do you carry with you from your experiences with your family?
*The Grapes of Wraith, the poor farmers, the small little farm houses trying to survive on very little, being resourceful with anything you can get your hands on
What images of immigration do you carry with you?

____________________________________________________________________

PHOBIA

What am I afraid of?

*falling, being nothing to myself, being nothing to those I love, letting people down including myself, not living up to my expectations, failing, confinement, being unhappy, student teaching and hating it

What makes me happy?

*my son when he's happy, being with my family, going on vacation, Christmas, sitting in front of a raging fire and sipping cocoa, rainy days and a quiet house where all that can be heard is the rain outside the window, curled up in my chair with a really good book, walking outside on a warm day, walking my dogs

Why do we exist?

*I don't know, to learn lessons to go on to another existence beyond this one, to learn and teach and show kindness and love, to be loved, to heal ourselves and others in the process of life, to make this world the best place it can be, appreciate the beauty in nature

What is poetry?

*words strung together that bring meaning to some, that convey thoughts, feelings, opinions, attitudes, artistic expression, they are mini-stories or lyrics to a song, ideas that we either reject or identify with or just find lovely to read, it lives forever

What is its form?

*nothing, to some they may want meter, rhythm or something that makes it easier to read or that moves it along in a sing-song fashion - but I like the free-for-all style of just putting down your feelings and thoughts on paper for yourself

Where is poetry?

*it is everywhere, in the trees, in the sights and the scents and the sounds, you could say it comes from the senses because so much of it is based on feelings and perceptions of the human experience

Where does poetry come from?

*it comes from everything, it can be written on scraps of paper, painted on the overpass of a highway, heard in the lyrics of a song, or spoken aloud

How is poetry useful?

*for letting the soul speak, for getting out the happiness, sadness, emptiness, whatever from within and placing it outside of yourself to share or to keep secret and/or locked up inside the pages of your diary

____________________________________________________________________

Describe this Era - Stream of Consciousness

technology - faster, faster, faster - speeding by - going - don't look back - run - go for it - do it - make it happen - make something of yourself - don't stop - you can't wait, just go - take a minute, don't ever have a minute - run here, go there - my mind is always racing - thoughts, thoughts - nothing makes sense - good ideas come and are gone and forgotten - age or Ritalin - diagnosing problems where there are none - nobody listening to each other or paying attention - need more, need more - never satisfied - never pleased or fulfilled - always wanting more - keep going - don't stop to think - just write but original thoughts are hard to get when I can't stop to think - just go and originality goes out the window - good thoughts - freedom - want to slow down and appreciate - everything is unreal - shallow and focused on looks - not on being real or being pure - no authenticity

SCANSION

Nature by Emily Dickinson (iambic)
The morns/are meeker/than they/were,
The nuts/are getting/brown;
The berry’s/cheek is/plumper,
The rose/is out /of town.

The maple/wears a/gayer scarf,
The field/a scarlet/gown.
Lest I/should be/old-fashioned,
I’ll put/a trinket/on.

^ '/^'^/'^/'
^'/^'^/'
^'^/'^/'^
^'/^'/^'

^'^/'^/'^'
^'/^'^/'
^'/^'/^'^
^'/^'^/'

Alright, this is my attempt at scansion of this poem…I am not sure how to put the marks above the words on here so I hope you understand what I was trying to do below. If anyone knows how to do this please inform me, I would love to know.

Questions/Responses to Faulkner's Barn Burning

1. How do Americans typically establish individual independence as teenagers? Do you remember any crucial moment in your own life when you realized that you had to make a choice between what your parent(s) and/or family believed and your own values?

American teens usually establish their independence by railing against authority…they develop a know everything attitude and don’t want to hear adults tell them how it really is. I can remember vividly thinking that my parents were out of touch and had no idea what they were talking about because they weren’t living my life in my time. They just couldn’t understand what my life was all about. That is what I believed at the time and I think this is true for most teens. I think its part of the egocentricity of childhood and not being able to see beyond themselves long enough to know that their parents are just trying to look out for their best interests. However, I also believe this is how teens develop their own ideologies separate from their family. They question what their parents are saying more and begin to see them not as the models of perfection they saw them as in childhood. Once I became a parent I was forced to see what my parents were trying to do but I could also see that I should stay true to myself as well. This may have been my turning point I suppose.

2. Is the destruction of another person's property ever something we can justify? Explain.

I don’t think there is a really good justification for destroying someone else’s property ever. I am from the “do unto others” ideology so I don’t think the destruction of things necessarily proves a good point in the fight to be right or as a revenge tactic.

3. Does it matter that this story is rendered through Sarty's consciousness? What were Faulkner's options, and how would the story be different if he had exercised them?

I think that the story rendered through Sarty’s consciousness gives the reader an insight into what his motives are and why he makes the decisions that he does. In this way too the reader is able to understand the conflict that Sarty faces in being loyal to his father and at the same time not agreeing with what he is doing. I think Faulkner could have told it in a more narrative format and probably gotten the same results but I think it would have been difficult to describe the conflicted feelings of the character of Sarty. However, if he would have told the story as a interpolated tale where there is a story within a story and it may have been a little easier to follow what was going on. At times I wasn’t sure what was happening because it seems that the story was only written from the angle of what Sarty is thinking and feeling and not from the point of view of what is really happening in the story.

4. What are the key symbols in the story, and how do they serve the thematic purposes Faulkner had in mind?

I think the burning of the barn is the key symbol to the story and I believe it represents the idea of Sarty’s beliefs and faith in his father burning away. Maybe, after the burning comes a renewal or rebuilding from the ashes and this is what Sarty has to face now that he has gone against his family. He has to establish a new set of values outside of his family…but perhaps this is something he was developing all along and it finally came to fruition with the barn burning. 5. Do the class issues the story raises have any parallels today?

I do believe that there are parallels in the world today to this story because we still have a lot of working class poor who accept jobs working for the wealthier classes. Many of the upper class society are unaware of the challenges and hardships the working poor have to face and take advantage of their desperation in order to get what they want. I also see the way Mr. Snopes behaved toward the black servant in the story and how he resented having to listen to him and refusing to do so and the consequences of this action. Interesting that Mr. Snopes needed to have someone beneath him in class to disrespect, like the black child. It is still true today that no matter your class standing in society there is still a need for everyone to feel they are above someone else in station.

6. What is the tone of the story, and how is it established.

The tone for the story is the sour way in which Mr. Snopes conducts himself toward his family and society in general. Beginning the story in the makeshift court room really puts a mental image in the readers’ mind as to the disposition of Mr. Snopes and then as the story progresses you see it in the way he treats his wife and children in such a cold manner. There is, however, a few small elements that are thrown in to make you understand why Sarty is torn about going against his father. There are times when he is quiet and sharing with his children, like sharing the lunch of cheese and crackers with his boys. This is a small moment but it demonstrates the small kindnesses that are probably rare but make Sarty feel affection for his father.Writing assignment (blogs): Choose a short story from the Modern period that you like and then explain why you like it. For instance, you might like the humor in a particular story, the method the author uses to characterize an individual, or a particular character or the way the author depicts a particular period in history, and so on.

One of the short stories that stood out for me was “Karintha” from Cane by Jean Toomer. I liked the way he tells this story in the 3rd person narrative; it lends a more dramatic flair to the tale of Karintha. The rich descriptions of Karintha as a beautiful and free spirited child who gets what she wants from men, or more than likely gets what she doesn’t want from them too soon. The artistic way that he shares the story of the exploitation of a young black woman and gives such vivid detail in her experience with it is like nothing else I have read before. Her story, when told in this style, has a very dramatic effect; it speaks of her soul in a detached way that shows the coldness with which men have treated her. It speaks of her beauty and yet of how this beauty doesn’t capture for her anything but sorrow, which is one of the plights of women, especially for one who’s “skin is like dusk on the eastern horizon.”

I have been reading a lot of Native American literature this week for both of my literature classes and I was fortunate enough to have a guest speaker in one of them. This man's name is Horace Axtell and he was invited to speak to our class about his book, "A Little Bit of Wisdom." I found this man to be fascinating to listen to and memorable for several reasons. The main and most profound one was for a statement that he made about forgiveness. He stated that the Nez Perce people have a word for this (he didn't say what) and that through his experiences he has achieved forgiveness of what has happened to his people. Speaking to a small group of primarily white students, this was a touching statement for each of us to hear. As one of my classmates stated, we all feel the burden of guilt for what has happened to the Native American, and to hear him tell us he forgives us was an honor.

We have read a variety of Native American authors over the past few weeks and many of the stories were similar. They told of a Native man coming back emotionally scarred by the war, coming to terms with not only the sadness and loss of war but also with the sadness and loss that the Native people have suffered for so long. We read these stories and went along with the characters as they struggled for identity and meaning in their lives. Then we meet Horace Axtell who is all of these characters come to life. He is the conclusion to their stories, or at least what I hope would become of the characters in these stories. He has lived this life and had these struggles and come to terms with it all and found peace and forgiveness in his heart.

I can't say that I have never been one of those white people who said, "It happened so long ago, can't we all just let it go?" Now, I feel shame for ever having felt this way. Reading and learning have brought me closer to an understanding of the price the Native people have paid for me to sit where I sit, at this moment, typing this blog, in the comfort of my home that sits on what used to be Nez Perce land. As I listened to Horace tell stories to the class about his life I couldn't help but drift off to the times I sat and listened in this same way to my own grandfather tell stories. It touches me and I think about how much I loved my grandfather and how much he taught me about life and people. Then I listen to Horace and think about what he has also taught people, and the tragedy of the way his people were treated sits behind him like a shadow, casting a shame on the white man as he tells our opaque faces that he has forgiven all. I remember all the stories of the broken people who have suffered and struggled with their identity and the loss of their culture and religion. I understand now that we took the soul of these people when we took the land and they have been lost ever since, trying to find their way back to where they belong and their identity. The kind of forgiveness Horace speaks of is so huge that I don't know if I would ever be deserving of it, but I hope to someday be.

Updated Reading List

Week 1- (1/12-1/18) Fools Crow: James Welch - Anthology of American Lit: Emily Dickinson

Week 2- (1/19-1/25) Fools Crow: James Welch - Anthology of American Lit: Emily Dickinson

Week 3- (1/26-2/1) Fools Crow: James Welch - Anthology of American Lit: Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson

Week 4- (2/2-2/8) Fools Crow: James Welch – Anthology of American Lit: Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson

Week 5- (2/9-2/15) African American Folktales (37-56) – Samuel Langhorne Clemens (56- 106) – Francis Ellen Watkins Harper (161) - Zora Neale Hurston (162) – Ghost Dance Song (214-217) – Kate Chopin (357-363)

Week 6-(2/16-2/22) Tracks: Louise Erdrich – Samuel Langhorne Clemens (67-106) – Alexander Lawrence Posey (217-222) – John Milton Osikson (222-228) - Henry James (279-334)

Week 7-(2/23-3/1) Tracks: Louise Erdrich – Grace King (202-208 ) - Jack London (524-526) – Standing Bear (538-540) – Charles Alexander Eastman (554-556) – Sarah Winnemucca (554-556) - Louisa May Alcott (650-665) – Out of Africa: Isak Dineson (Karen Blixen)

Week 8– (3/2-3/8) Men on the Moon: Simon Ortiz – Frances Ellen Watkins Harper (566-576) - Harriet Prescott Spofford (665-667) – Constance Fenimore Woolson (675-667) – Sarah Orne Jewett (693-701) – Out of Africa: Isak Dineson (Karen Blixen)

Week 9- (3/9-3/20) Men on the Moon: Simon Ortiz – Mary E. Wilkes Freeman (712-723, 758) – Pauline Elizabeth Hopkins (734-744) – Sarah M.B. Piatt (751-755) – Ella Wheeler Wilcox (757) - Sophia Jewett (758-759) – E. Pauline Johnson (760-761) – Elaine Goodale Eastman (762-763) – Alice Dunbar Nelson (763-764) – Sarah Norcliff Cleghorn (765) – Gertrude Bonnen (809-819) - Edith Wharton (962-1000)

Week 10- (3/23-3/29) Men on the Moon: Simon Ortiz – Edith Wharton (1000-1028) - Willa Cather (1034-1039) - Robert Frost (1058-1070) – Ezra Pound (1109-1131) - Gertrude Stein (1145-1156) - T.S. Eliot (1278-1306) – William Carlos Williams (1314-1315)

Week 11- AAHPERD Convention Week (3/30-4/5) Ceremony: Leslie Marmon Silko – The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian: Sherman Alexie - Booker T. Washington (868-887)

Week 12- (4/6-4/12) Ceremony: Leslie Marmon Silko – W.E.B. DuBois (894-917) – James Weldon Johnson (919-939) - A Little Bit of Wisdom: Horace Axtell – Mourning Dove (1733-1736) – John Joseph Mathews (1740-1747) – Thomas Whitecloud (1752)

Week 13-(4/13-4/19) Ceremony: Leslie Marmon Silko– Charles Reznikoff (1784-1790) – John Steinbeck (1791-1802) – Eudora Welty (1917-1919) – Tennessee Williams (1960-1962) – John Updike (2451-2453)

Week 14- (4/20-4/26) Smoke Signals/The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven: Sherman Alexie – Toni Morrison (2437-2438) – N. Scott Momaday (2479-2489) - Bharati Mukherjee (2693-2694) – Maxine Hong Kingston (2703-2704) – Simon Ortiz (2724-2725) – Jimmy Santiago Baca (2658-2662)

Week 15- (4/27-5/3) The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven: Sherman Alexie –– James Welch (2680-2681) – Martin Luther King Jr (2340-2341) – Norman Mailer (2400-2401) - Sherman Alexie (3079-3081) - Leslie Marmon Silko (2829-2830) – Wendy Rose (2837-2845) - Arthur Miller (2051-2053) – Gwendolyn Brooks (2142-2153) – Flannery O’Conner (2216-2217) – Louise Erdrich (2995-2997)


Week 16- (5/4-5/10) The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven: Sherman Alexie –– Allen Ginsberg (2229-2240) - Jack Kerouac (2243-2245) – Gary Soto (2983-2988) – Malcom X (2273-2274) – Joy Hargo (2950-2959) – Sylvia Plath (2330-2338)

AAHPERD

So, I've been a total slacker on blogging for the last few weeks since I went on my trip to Tampa, Florida. I had visions of being able to use the hotel computers, since I didn't want to pack my laptop with me for the trip, and blogging about all my reading and my trip experiences. Well, it went the way that visions go which is to say it didn't happen at all. The computers that the Hyatt had were being used 24/7 and were impossible to get access to the whole time I was there. Anyway, those are my excuses, so now I'm making an attempt to get caught up.

You might be wondering what the hell AAHPERD stands for and it is the American Alliance for Health, Physical Education, Recreation, and Dance. They have a national meeting once every year in different locations across the United States. As a part of the Kinesiology Club I have been lucky enough to attend one in Salt Lake City, Utah and one in Fortworth, Texas. This year, probably will be my last, and as the President of the club I really wanted to go and get one more really good convention in while I still could. They probably don't sound like much fun to the outsider but they really get me excited about my major all over again every time I go. It's a big week long convention for PE/Health teachers, exercise science people, athletic trainers and various other professions within the sporting realm. They have several different seminars that you can attend everyday that give presentations on things like research results from different universities on health, they have sessions on new sports equipment and ways to exercise, new lesson plans for teachers and ways to do things more efficiently in the classroom, etc. If it has anything to do with health and fitness it is at this convention. In addition, they have a big exhibit hall packed with booths that are giving away free products and information, enter you in drawings to win things like ipods and Wii fitness machines, and allow you to test out new equipment like DDR's and the rockwall treadmill. They also have shows going on at various times in the building by local dancers and students. They perform anything from small dance competitions to jump roping contests to stacking races (this is cup stacking that sounds really silly but is amazing to watch). Oh, and I was able to meet the Olympic track star Carl Lewis, I got a picture with him and his autograph...I thought that was pretty cool.

I am honored every year that I get to go and I enjoy coming back with new ideas that not only help me but that I can share with the club as well. I am always recruiting new students for the club and this is one of the best selling points for me to lure people in. I have posted a few pictures of just a portion of what the convention looks like in case any of you bloggers are curious.


Anyway, this was a real whirlwind trip and we flew all day Tuesday and Friday to get there and back again and only had two days to get through the entire convention so it was nuts. I also always end up getting talked in to doing crazy fitness stuff while I'm at these things and so we tire ourselves out really quickly. In addition, one of my friends and I decided to go on a journey to find a Barnes & Noble store and walked a good 5 miles until we found one. We were a little tired, sweaty, and sunburnt by the time we got there so we spent some time inside cooling down before we trekked back the 5 miles to the hotel. I had so many grand plans to catch up on my reading while I was flying and during what I thought would be "down time" but that did not happen. We didn't seem to have many spare moments and when we did we were exhausted and trying to catch some sleep.


I was able to read some Booker T. Washington while on the trip and I bought a book in the airport by Sherman Alexie called "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian." This book was laugh out loud hilarious and then at times kind of heartbreaking. I am currently pestering my son to read it but I don't think he's interested. Anyway, it was a quick read and completely enjoyable...I'll try to share more on this later.

Spring Break

Over spring break I watched the Reformation video and I have to say it was really good. I even got my family to watch it with me...maybe we are all geeks for that kind of stuff but I think PBS puts out some really good shows. Anyway, from there I read Mary E. Wilkes Freeman, Pauline Elizabeth Hopkins, Sarah Piatt, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Sophia Jewett, Edith Wharton, etc. I was a busy reader and found that I really liked a lot of the different stories put out by these women, they were varied in their subject matter, interesting, and at times progressive for their time. I really enjoyed Mary Freeman's "A New England Nun" and liked the way she showed the character of Louisa as being capable and happy on her own. I could completely identify with her not wanting to get married and being comfortable in her life as it was...not wanting to share her space...this is something I can relate to as I'm sure most modern day women can.






I also really liked the poem The Wood-Chopper to His Ax by Elaine Goodale Eastman. There was something about this poem that I really liked and I found myself reading it out loud several times. The meter of the words, the words themselves, I'm not sure why but I just liked it a lot, it felt powerful and I could picture the man with his ax chopping down the tree and the power the ax had in his hands. Good imagery. On the topic of poems, I enjoyed I Sit and Sew by Alice Dunbar-Nelson as well. It ran in the same vein as Mary Freemans story...questioning the roles of women...but at the same time this one focused more on the tediousness of the domestic role of women rather than the enjoyment of womanly solitude to do domestic tasks as Freeman's story demonstrated. I could relate to what this peom was talking about as this feeling of wanting to break free from trivial things and instead do something of importance with your life. In her case she is thinking of the men who are fighting in the Civil War and how she wishes she could be part of that rather than spending her days sewing.

I'm now a big fan of Edith Wharton and I haven't even finished reading all of her work in this book yet. I especially liked the stories, Souls Belated and The Other Two, the complexity of the situations these characters find themselves in are truly modern day predicaments. The social constraints are not as apparent now as they were at that time but I still think much of it holds true today. In Souls Belated, Lydia and Gannett find themselves, having run away together to escape her bad marriage, in a upscale European hotel passing themselves off as a married couple. They had always thought they did not need the social hierarchy and had mocked it in the past but found themselves enjoying being part of it in this place. In the end Lydia feels that she should strike out on her own and leave Gannett because they will always be under this cloud of their scandalous affair. Even if they marry someday someone could find out and it would ruin their social standing that they have found they truly love being a part of. However, when faced with the choice of leaving or staying, Lydia finds that leaving and being a woman on her own in that time would be more difficult than staying with Gannett. It's a really good skeleton in the closet story and is a timeless situation but Wharton's ability to pull the reader in to the complex feelings of the characters and their tough decisions is really compelling. I found myself reading both of these stories rapidly, kind of on the edge of my seat, wondering right along with the characters what or where they were going to go from one situation to the next.

Week Before the Break

Well, I fell a little behind it seems in my blogging and didn't get my post on here for the week before the break. I have been reading like crazy but for this blog I will share just a few.




I read some stories from Men on the Moon by Simon Ortiz that were really good. As I was reading Men on the Moon I tried to get a sense of what the moral of the story was when I went through each one. Maybe that is silly but it almost felt like there was one if you look at it the right way. However, I don’t think it’s so much a moral as a search for what the meaning is for the Native American in the story. The Panther Waits was especially true in this way because I took from that story that the brother, Taft, was most in touch with what Harry Brown was saying when he told them his story. The parallel between Harry Brown being a drunk and Taft being a drinker in later life shows you how being more in touch with their heritage makes it harder for them to fit into the world around them. At least this is the way I take it. I watched a movie once that talked about how when the Native American man had his land taken, his way of life was diminished. He was no longer what he was raised to be, a warrior. He is in touch with a spiritual world that no longer has land or animals that are treated in the sacred manner of the people. Everything he has known is taken and he is placed on a piece of land nobody wants and told to live on it and be happy. How can you be a brave warrior of your people when you can no longer hunt and provide for them? When you add drinking to this loss you break this Indian warrior down even further. Or maybe the drinking is what makes them numb to their pain, to their loss of the old ways. I think this is the essence of what The Panther Waits is conveying to the reader, that Taft and the old man who are so in tune with their heritage are also the ones who cannot fit into the world around them.

One other story that I really liked was To Change a Life in a Good Way. I liked the way that Bill and Ida became friends with Pete and Mary and they all accepted each other regardless of the differences in their heritage. When Bill’s brother died I liked the way Pete and Mary brought the Indian bundle to them and explained that it would help them, even if they couldn’t explain the old ways of how or why since they didn’t really remember exactly. This is such a modern twist on the way the Native American has lost some of his heritage over time but has still kept the traditions going because they know it has value. In the end it really did help Bill and Ida in their healing and acceptance of the death of Slick. I believe that both of these stories as well as the other’s that Ortiz writes about, show us how the Native American lives and deals with everyday life in a dominant white world. Some have learned to accept it and still hold on to some of the old ways, some don’t deal with it at all and are either broken or damaged, and some of the very old ones sit back and are bewildered by the ways of the white man. He gives us the broken homes of the Native and the hard way of adjusting and the sacrifice they make in order to live as an Indian in a white world. These glimpses of hardship, puzzlement, and acceptance of the modern Indian’s way of life are important to share, to try to make sense of the aftermath of what has been done to these people. How they continue to go on even after they have had their culture ripped from them, how they continue to recapture the old ways, how they have endured is a lesson for everyone.

One other author I wish to share from week before last was Karen Blixen or Isak Dineson who wrote Out of Africa. I really enjoyed this story with it's rich characters and landscapes. I felt that this wasn't just a typical love story but a complicated relationship of various people and you could even say it was a love story to the people and the place of Africa as well. Throughout her story I felt that she was remembering back to a place and time that was vivid unlike any other part of her life before or after. There was such happiness but so much sadness for the people that she had become so immersed in and finally had to leave behind. After I finished the book I watched the movie with Meryl Streep and Robert Redford. The movie was a bit different in that it focused more on her relationship with Robert Redford's character than any of the other characters in the story. You got a sense of her closeness and her feeling for the African people from it but the book was better at conveying...which I feel is always true of books.


Anyway, I really enjoyed this and recommend it to anyone who is looking for a good atypical love story to read.

Reading Big

So this weekend I found a reprieve from all of my other homework for a change and had some time to read. I read a lot but I will just put on here the ones that I enjoyed the most. I really enjoyed Jack London's story, "South of the Slot," it was an interesting read about a guy living two very distinct and seperate lives. Not in the sense that he has one family here and another over there but more that he splits his personality to take on a whole other persona, "acting" as he would call it, to fit in. However, I believe he is really the everyday guy with the gregarious personality more than he is the stiff and cold college professor, True to this feeling, that is the guy he ends up being in the end. I liked the way London showed the complexity of what this character was thinking and how he actually became what he thought he was only acting to be. It was an excellent story.



Sarah Winnemucca was also an interesting read and kind of encompassed all of the Native American reading I did this weekend. She was a very educated "Indian" woman and gave a heartbreaking narrative of her encounter with the whites as a child. She gives the reader a true sense of how terrifying it was to be a woman in those times, especially a Native woman. Her experience with the white man, she aptly contrasts to the experience of her grandfather with the white man. She shows how different everything is from the woman's perspective and how helpless they felt at that time.



I was also able to read a little Louisa May Alcott and though I have read "Little Women" a long time ago I wasn't sure what to expect of "My Contraband." I found it to be a moving story of a white woman on the side of the Yankees during the civil war and of the mullato soldier who finds himself in the same hospital with his white brother. There is no love lost there and needless to say she is able to keep him from killing his dying white brother and helps him in his pursuit of finding his lost wife. The conclusion is good, if a bit expected, but I found this story interesting because it was such a contrast to reading "Little Women" and it was very different from what I at first thought it would be. I guess I will have to try to find more of her work.


The last story I will comment on was something else that Dr. Hepworth mentioned in class as a personal reading assingment. I decided to get "Out of Africa" by Karen Blixen or Isak Dineson, which is the name she wrote under. It was kind of funny because I almost didn't get the book because I thought it was the wrong one since I was looking for Blixen not Dineson. I got the book anyway and started to read the pre-face and realized that it was indeed Blixen writing so I was glad I took the time to read into it anyway or I would have felt silly. Anyway, I just started it so I will have to comment on that a little later. Just wanted to keep everyone posted on where I'm at and what I'm up to...in case you had some burning desire to know.

Oh, and I also listened to the wax recordings of Whitman and a few others too. A little creepy in some ways because of the way their voices sounded. Whitman's was a little distorted too because of the scratchy sound on the recording. However, it was pretty cool to think that this was what their voices sounded like reading their poems. I was a little bummed that I couldn't get the Alan Ginsberg recording to work...maybe I will try it again later.

So I finished reading Samuel Clemens this week and I especially enjoyed' "The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg." I really like stories like this one that give a little moral at the end and yet don't turn out anything like what you would have expected. I won't spoil the story for anyone who chooses to read it but I will say that it goes to show what a guilty heart can do to a person. I have to say that I had never really read much of Clemens stuff other than the Huck Finn standards and I think that I became a new fan now that I've read his other work. I also really liked "The War Prayer" and the message it was conveying. Clemens is a great story teller, able to draw you into his stories and make you hang on every word, and they have such great endings. A little moral truth to give you food for thought. I'm going to have to add some of his other stuff to my reading "wish" list.



I also read "Daisy Miller" and "The Art of Fiction" and I am now a Henry James fan. I found Daisy to be a free spirit who spit in the eye of convention to the dismay of "society". I was a little let down at the end because it wasn't exactly a happy ending which I'm a sucker for...but it had it's own sense of morality. I think James was trying to show Mr. Winterbourne as a guy who realized too late that this socially unconventional girl just wanted his attentions and he should have stopped caring about what everyone else thought and just be with her. I could be wrong on my interpretation because it was, or seemed, like an abrupt end to the story. If anyone sees it differently I welcome your thoughts.

The Greatest Love

I remember the day I first met him. I was still reeling from losing someone I loved very much. My emotions were raw and I was numb with disbelief. I imagine this is how most people feel when someone dies, but I don’t really know, I did know that my life would never be the same again. So much had changed now that he was gone, I would never again feel so loved and accepted by anyone. My best friend in the world was gone from this place; never will I see his face or hear his voice. To be in his presence was to feel calm and complete. I can remember we used to take these incredible walks on Sunday afternoons. He would pick me up in his old pickup and I would run out to jump in, excited to go on another adventure. He would let me shift the gears on the impossibly long stick shift and after a few grinding attempts I would find it and lock it into place. Once at our destination, we would grab our old gnarled walking sticks out of the back of the truck and make our way along the seemingly unexplored trail. It would be a beautiful summer day; at least that is how I always see it when I think back on it now. The sun would shine down and warm our backs as we traveled slowly along the trail. We walk side by side, at first not saying a word, wrapped in a comfortable silence. The soothing sounds of the outdoors, the scurrying creatures of the woods running from our footsteps, the trees swaying on the light breeze. We walk along on this glorious day and little by little we begin to talk. I tell him everything that’s gone on in my little world over the past week, running on and on. He does not stop me; he just listens to every word. He hears me like no one else can or will. When my talk winds down he tells me things about his life. There is so much to know, his life has been so rich and his experiences so vast. I want to know every part of it, hear about everything, and picture it in my mind. I ask questions, so many questions, and he patiently answers them all. When we come to the clearing on the mountain side we brush off the two flat rocks that we made into our chairs on our first trip to this place. He reaches into his pants pocket and hands me out his small pocket knife, the one that’s my favorite. I begin to whittle the handle of my walking stick while he pulls out his special camera with the long lens. He takes pictures of the river way down below us, the boats like specks on the water. I’m busy with my knife as we sit and enjoy the serenity of this place, the sweat on our backs drying in the sun. All too soon we have to pack up our things and head back down the trail, we have dinner waiting for us at home and we can’t be late. Those days are bittersweet in my thoughts, I miss them now more than anything, and I wish I had appreciated them more at the time. I guess that happens when you’re just a kid and life seems like it will always stay the same, that things will never shift and the people we love will always be there.

I sat there that day, the day I met him, thinking about these things as the tears slid down my cheeks. I looked into those little eyes and felt his small heartbeat beneath my hands. I am so happy for this gift but yet so terribly sad that he couldn’t be here to see him. I had dreamed about this moment, always with him here, watching him hold my precious son and rocking him gently in the old worn recliner. It is at this moment that I look up to the ceiling of my sterile little hospital room and begin to pray. “My dear Grandpa, please look out for my little baby boy. Walk beside him as you walked beside me; whisper those same stories into his ear. Tell him all the important things about life as you told them to me...all those years ago.”

Emily Dickinson...Finally

What were your first impressions of Dickinson?

My first impressions of Dickinson were that she was obviously talented but I didn't really enjoy a lot of her subject matter. She has a lot of nature involved in her poems and repeats a lot of the same words and I have a hard time getting into it. I felt like it was best read out loud so that I could really hear the words to appreciate it. This worked much better and I did find a few that were my favorites..."I'm Nobody!, I felt A Funeral In My Brain," etc.

Have your impressions changed as you’ve studied and reread her poems this semester? If so, how? Why?

My first impression did change as we've gone on and talked more in depth about her and her life. I felt the day that Heather read a few of her lines...that was pretty intense...and very moving. I also found that as I tried to write some things in her style, I could appreciate more of her work, especially trying to incorporate some of her words into my own writing was a challenge. However, I think using her words made what I wrote much more beautiful...at least to me.

What were the dilemmas of Dickinson’s life? How do these dilemmas manifest themselves in her writing?

I believe the biggest dilemmas of Dickinson's life were her unrequieted love for Susan Gilbert Dickinson and her role as a women in the time she lived. She was really intelligent and I can only imagine how stifling it was to live in that period where a woman barely had the right to be heard, let alone write. Her writing has a lot of moments of unfulfilled love and loss and you get a sense of her struggling with this feeling of frustration to be heard.

After reviewing Dickinson’s work, make a list of words that are particularly Dickinsonian.

Celestial, Vesuvian, Dwell, Thee, Ascended, Sea, Death, A Stone, Hands, Face, Dew, Earth, Harvest, Sun, Moon, Stars, Beckons, Immense, Divine, Infinite, Soul.....

Photo Contest

A: Gary Snyder, William Stafford, Allen Ginsberg, W.S. Merwin, Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, Robert Lowell, Gertrude Stein, Dorothy Parker, Willa Cather, Toni Morrison, William Shakespeare, Joyce Carol Oates, Virginia Woolf, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, Walt Whitman, Ernest Hemingway

**Of all these authors I would still like to read some Toni Morrison, Sylvia Plath, and Virginia Woolf - I haven't really read much of any of them. If there are any others above that anyone would recommend let me know...I am open to suggestions.